I am thrown back in the pool of dating without wanting to be, and I have come across some observations while clinging to the side of this pool of hell. There are many things you SHOULD do when trying to score that first date with someone, but there are also many you should NOT. Which leads me to the Top 10:
1. This one is simple. If you say your gonna call, then CALL WHEN YOU SAY YOU WILL! This may seem like a no-brainer, but trust me, if she is waiting by the phone and you DON'T call, then you can pretty much kiss that date goodbye!
2. Don't ask for any kind of body or body part pictures before going out with her. I have been asked for a picture of my FEET, and many full body pictures as a requirement to some wacked-out men before they even consider going out with me. What? "You want to see my feet before we go out?" I sent this guy a pic of my dog's feet with the subject line: "This is the best I could do." NEXT!
3. Don't talk about sex to me. This is NEVER APPROPRIATE! I don't care what your favorite position is, or whether you have a big _________. This is not something women think about, nor care about before going out with you. So, no matter how hot you think she is, DON'T TELL HER YOU HOPE TO SCORE A ONE NIGHT STAND WITH HER.
4. Don't tell me you are on a ton of dating sites. See, I can understand one or two, but 5 or more? This screams out serial dater, or serial one-night-stander-never-call-her-againer. If you met her on a dating site, say that is the only one you are on, or it will send out red flags that there must be something wrong with you if you cannot get ONE girlfriend out of all your many dating web sites.
5. Do not, under any circumstances talk about your last girlfriend. While you may think its cute that I look like her, I will NOT THINK THIS IS CUTE. Don't fill me in on your last relationship at ALL. I realize some women might ask such questions like, "So, when was your last girlfriend?" Do NOT mistaken this for a portal into the life story of your old relationship. All she is trying to do is gauge if you are a. on the rebound and b. if you might still be hung up on an ex If she asks how long it has been since your last girlfriend and you say "Oh, a week." Look out, because chances are, you will never see or hear from her again.
6. No matter what your financial situation is, how close you are to her, we will NOT think its sweet that you still live with your Mom and you are in your 40s! This is a huge sign of committment-phobe to us! Why? Because if you won't even sign a year lease, what makes you think you will want to date US for a year? We are not looking to step in as the "new Mom" to do your laundry, make your dinner, etc. So unless you live in an apartment in the same building as Mom, you better start cruising the want-ads for an apartment or you will be alone for a very looong time, trust me.
7. Do not talk to me about "the last time you got tested for STDs" This will NOT make me start to undress at the table and get the check so I can get you in the back seat of my car! While I can respect a man for taking care of himself, I do not want to know when your last bloodwork was on our first date!
8. Don't become so giddy with excitement when you see me and realize you are attracted to me that you say something like, "Wow, can I see you again tomorrow? What about the day after that? Or the day after that?" This SCREAMS out stalker to us and is SUCH a turn-off. While I want a guy to be into me, I don't want him to be SO into me that he sets up a tent on my lawn for a glimpse of me as I walk by my front window, either!
9. If you go for the kiss goodnight, DONT GIVE US THE TONGUE. I just met you, and a nice peck on the cheek is enough with a nice quick hug to follow. I do not want a guy ramming his tongue down my throat awkwardly while moaning right after I met him for the first time! This has really happened to me! Keep your hormones in check, and just give me a quick hug or a peck and WALK AWAY!
10. If you really like me, then it is OK to call the next day. Yes, that's right, don't play games with the "Oh shouldn't I wait like 3 days to call so I don't seem needy?" NO! A girl loves it if you call right away BUT do not seem overly needy when you call either. This will surely kill it. Just say you had a great time and hope you can get together again. And if she doesn't feel the same way, get off the phone with her. never BEG!
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